Making Ammends

Thoughts!!!!

2009-07-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

Its been a good ten months that i posted anything on my blog. I arrive at work 6am this morning thinking i should grab my pashminas and head out somewhere in the building and nap till 8am, then something in me said, No, check blogsville and so i did. I went to 36inches's and pinklips page and to catch up on blogging et all.

I liked 36's post- Random Thoughts and thats wheres my inspiration to blog today comes from.

I can't beleive i just turned 29 years old...I'm growing older but dont feel old at all. Yet some people say i should stop fooling my self-how can you be 29? pls help me ask them if they were there when my mum gave birth to me.
Our 2 house helps disappeared the same day, one was paid his money and asked to leave. The other was only brought 2 weeks ago and was supposed to stay, for some reason, she snuck out while mum fell asleep on the couch and made off with her N30,000. How the hell am i supposed to get ready for work in the morning now that they are gone??
My best friend sent me a bbm the other saying that i should please do her a favour and stop being friendly with her husband. Why? Cos he apparently doesnt like me, (even though we are paddy's or so i thought) They had a huge arguement/fight the other day and somewhere in between my name came up, I was accused of giving her bad advice and wrong information because i'm not married (and i bump into him at night clubs and bars-so i tell her about the random girls he hangs with). She cant beleive he said horrible things about me, she cant beleive he is 2 faced, she wants me to only say hi and bye to him cos he doesnt deserve my friendship. This is someone who calls me if i havent visited his house in 2 weeks and says are you fighting with us, little does he know that i see his wife everyday.. I feel so sorry for her.
I wore shorts the other day to the salon, after getting my hair done, a friend of mine calls and asks me to meet her up at some barbecue, then we go for drinks, and later to some club in VI. For someone who hasnt been toasted in a long time, everything was following me...men, flies, bees, the wind (LOL), everyone male person was trying to get my attention...i sha ended up with 3 toasters that night. That has never happened to me on a night in this our dry Lagos before oh.
I still wanna get a place of my own in VI or Ikoyi or somewhere close to my office, even though mummy says lai lai- that drive is tiring and just kills me.
I hate waking up 4.45am everyday. Normal people are still asleep at that time.
I wish the weekends were longer, they come and go soo fast.
Can everyone stop asking me when i'm getting married- haven't you heard of God's time is the best.
Cant wait for my new business to grow into a huge one...WATCH THIS SPACE!!!
I hope i find enough time to put down my thoughts on blogsville....
I better publish this post before someone catches me updating my bolg at work...damn!!

3rd Mainland Bridge

2008-09-22T04:18:00.000-07:00

Hey people's....how una dey....Pink Lips(I'm back o) For real.

Soo much has happened to me since my last post (May) and dunno where to start from.

I'll start with 3rd mainland bridge cos thats just doing my head in right now. For the past few weeks, i've been staying in at the weekends on purpose, not like i'm the homely type (I'm like the most restless person ever). I bought dvd series The Wire season 1-5 and watched it in 4 days, day and night, refused to take phone calls or speak to anyone, was too engrosssed and i can tell you its very great if ure looking for something to watch. All of this in the name of not going out and having to sit hours on end in traffic.

Came back from my vacation end of July to learn that the bridge will be shutdown starting from the day i came into town.(I had heard that the bridge will be shut before i left but i paid no attention to it and just thought lai lai, they can never shut it down for repairs. I was shocked when i learnt that they did it. My journey from the airport to my sisters house somewhere in yaba took at least 5hours....as in i kid you not. I was fustrated, i cursed at the system, almost came out of the car to start walking. It was horrible..

I eventually got to my sisters house at about 8pm in the evening and they were like eiya, welcome back in asarcastic way(i chose the worst day to return to the country). Apparently, i got lucky cos i used the back routes, my sis friend had been on her way from maryland from 4.30 pm and didnt get to yaba until 9.45pm.. Horrendous traffic it was.

My daily routine before closure of 3rd mainland was wake up at 6.00am (since i lived near the airport) and i'm on my way to the office in exactly 30mins and hopefully get to work between 8.00am and 8.30 am. Now, i wake up 4.45am or 5.00am so i acn beat the early morning traffic which is really bad from my end. At times like this i almost want to scold my father for not building a house on the mainland....(i mean its toture). You can imagine me i'm tired and sleepy once i get to work as opposed to energized and looking forward to the day or week ahead....

I did this routine for one week and my brain & body couldnt take it anymore so i decided to call a friend of mine who lives on the island, turns out he's out of the country but says its okay to stay at his cos his squatter was there.. I was soo happy, even though it was mid week, i didnt mind, just couldnt hack that traffic thing for another day.

And Another One

2008-05-21T12:16:00.000-07:00

Eyes like sapphire burning thru my skin

Face like a bronze aphrodite, so pure yet with a soul so thin

My heart craves the missed beat

Come to me oh passion let me cling unto thee

For my chest beats amiss the former drums of love

Oh sweet temptation overshadow me

oh desire...lips as red as the finest English rose, taking me to place where my soul at once arose.

oh...a fantasy most complete, so muchso

with my lips drinking from your lips oh desire,
my tongue brushin agaist that skin of yours

oh the adventure my desire... how i long to traverse the bushes in between you thigh mountains and taste of your ambrosia...
to pluck of your apple with my tongue...

oh my desire, thy fantasy so sweet...yet some know it not

oh desire...lips as red as the finest English rose,
taking me to place where my soul at once arose.

oh...a fantasy most complete, so muchso

with my lips drinking from your lips oh desire,

my tongue brushin agaist that skin of yours

oh the adventure my desire...

How i long to traverse the bushes in between you thigh mountains and taste of your ambrosia... to pluck of your apple with my tongue...

oh my desire, thy fantasy so sweet...yet some know it not but desire...
Thou knowest that my passion is hot

Why dost thou not say (why not)

I crave to show you my sword, to hold you in chivalry ad together we shall fly the heights

My desire, i have prepared a warm bed in my heart for you...

Now that i see you in a newlight

My desire I want you to know that my thots of you are not for show

No careless whispers no spoken word

Just a connection from up above.

THE END

MAY 16 (ITS HERE AGAIN)

2008-05-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

Very grateful to God for his mercies!!

A couple of years back, i thought my life was over, I lost my dad, almost lost my identity, things just went wrong, with my family, my education, just generally... I doubted i'd ever survive it, I was very pessimistic bout the going ons...but he made it happen.

I'm turning 28 tomorrow and i cant beleive it. Soo much (positive) has happened in the past 5 years.

God has been soo faithful to me and will not relent..

I am indeed grateful.

WHISPERS OF.............

2008-05-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

Last night nobody told me you'd be on my mind,
no voice to speak a word of clarity to my eye though blind,
no thought to whisper the ills at that time
yea...
I was not schooled to listen to the teachers of my mind

Last night, I dreamt I found you at my doorand with kisses
I welcomed my Cherie amour,
So soft... so unreal yet my lips screamed for more
Your velveteen skin to bask, your eyes to swim in for sure

Last night my thoughts carried you into my chamber and laid you on my divan
They washed your feet and oiled your back with the softest touch
No other pleasure can feel as such
They rubbed the sinews off your back
And left your nude portrait laying flat
Last night your body was a reliquary of fantastic pleasure

From the moment my tongue tasted your skin...oh the pleasure
To the intermingling of your juices with my lips
My head within the secret temple in the valley of your thighs
We climb until the peaks cause you elation without measure

Last night I knew you as men know the desires of their heart
Our bodies whispered sweet nothings
Our flesh slick with the sweat of our love making...itself an art
Our desires spread like the wash of a strong wave
Our desire was always going to be strong from the startI took you to the peaks of coitus; you broke the chains of cupid and began to glow
Our desires spread like the wash of a strong wave
Our desire was always going to be strong from the startI took you to the peaks of coitus;
you broke the chains of cupid and began to glow

This morning, I day dreamed that I woke to find you next to me
Having a long conversation over a mug of green tea
We spoke about the love of the night before
And the grief it brings to have to let you go once more
But at least we know that we have another page another story

Of the way you let me love u, and hold u
Cos you’ve got me so in awe of you.

Am I a BITCH for wanting someone else's MAN?????

2008-05-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

It all started like a joke when we met, we would chat back to back on facebook!

I was loving it and i swear he did too.. then he dropped the BOMB!!! HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND.

WHAT A SHAME!!

I didnt let that get to me though cos i liked him, just from chatting... me sef..na wah for me. He wished he'd met me two months earlier (he asked my friend to hook us up just before then and she paid no attention to him) i dont know why she agreed to introduce us (on facebook) eventually.

After chatting consistently(on a daily basis) on facebook, he decided we met up for drinks after working hours, some part of me didnt want to go but after giving it some more thought i decided to go, was with him for 20mins, we talked alot, i was more of a talker than him tho, there was just something about him, something i hardly find in men ive been with...he was calm, a good listener and very polite irrespective of being a Taurean, which i am as well. If ure familiar with TAUReans you'd agree with me that they're very in your face, stubborn, proud amongst other good qualities...I happen to be a taurean as well..LOL

As time went bye, we became friends, we exchanged numbers, the text messages started flowing, daily emails then the phone calls followed. There was a big smile on my face everytime i saw his number of my phone, he is soo sweet and polite.

So he has a girlfriend yet he spends so much time with me, that was Janurary when we met and now its May..I'm so fond of him, so is he, we see each other every weekend, sometimes everyday during the week...Yet he has a girlfriend. Some part of me wants to beleive she doesnt exist but my friend has confided in me that he's not soo crazy about her, were still not dating yet neither are we far from it.

I want him for myself, is it soo bad to want to snatch him away from her(glad i don't know her and hoping i dont know any of her friends cos that will just be disastrous).

Am i wicked???? Cos i want him for me & myself alone.

Handicapped dreams of becoming a Lawyer

2008-04-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

Big thanks to veryone that managed to read my extra long last post till the end and left comments...I really appreciate all your kind words......

I met some dude recently on facebook but thru a mutual friend, he asked my friend if he could add me and she told him she'd have to check with me before he can go ahead..So she did ask me and i said it was okay...so we got chatting, dude happens to be a lawyer and since we had just met and didnt really have anything serious to talk about i decided to center my conversation around Law and being a lawyer..

So i asked him how it felt enforcing the laws? He said " i'll let u into a little secret. Its not as glamorous as in the movies at all - you dont get a gun or a badge, and certainly arent involved in any high-speed car chases on the freeway. Instead wot we get is a silly outfit (wig and drakula-style gown) and we argue all day with a similarly clad man who should have retired many years ago. LOL" My oh my! That was hilarious. I'm glad lawyers don’t get guns or badges; there would have been plenty over zealous lawyers contesting alongside our ever over zealous cops… LOL. And yeah, the whole outfit really sucks...but u lawyers just love it...Don’t you? I have a lot of respect for lawyers by the way…Just hate the outfit..

He agreed with me that there's nothing worse than a lawyers with badges. But wondered the respect for lawyers? Did u secretly always want to become one?

Re: the outfit, yup its a little unusual to the untrained eye (i.e those not used to looking at it), especially if u go to court and base your judgment on what you see there. But the proper outfit dare I say it may be quite becoming i.e proper (i) shirt and winged collar (white not brown!); (ii) pin-striped trousers; (iii) gown; and (iv) of course proper wig as opposed to the brown mass of horse hair (which looks as if its used regularly for football practice) preferred by most lawyers. ha ha ha..(I hope no lawyer finds this offensive in any way)

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a Lawyer. Since primary school..Its soo funny now just thinking about it...Dad used to call me S.A.N (Senioe Advocate of Nigeria) even though I didn’t know what it meant at the time..lol. That was my nick name why? Cos i was a chatter box..I could talk nineteen to the dozen. Lol.

By the time I turned fourteen, I still felt the same way...I was in the art class and was loving all the art subjects and i thought to myself, I’m on the right track..Funny how I my feelings didn’t change as I was writing jamb, I filled in Law for both my 1st & 2nd choices. Guess what? Somehow, I never passed jamb, I tried twice and never made the cutt off mark.

My dad sent me straight away to a diploma in law course.. That was where I became faced with the challenges of pursuing such a career.. I mean, I had no foundation whatsoever in law yet I had to read all these bulky text books, weekly reports and sit in the library for many hours on end. I found it extremely boring; I was dying in side and really couldn’t tell my dad I didn’t want to become a lawyer again...How could i bring myself to say that to him, after all It was my idea to become a lawyer and not anyone else's.

I was scared of being a disappointment… So i started paying regular visits to the library, i started with the Introduction to legal system in Nigeria, Law of torts (I liked that), criminal law & the other crazy law courses. Well I struggled and passed the 1st year. 2nd year came, the number of courses increased and it was more difficult...e.g Company Law, Land Law, Marine Law and the list was endless... Then to compound matters, i started having problems with my lecturers, they just wanted to sleep with me...The thought of it alone was fustrating ( I kept asking myself, why me??? Even though there were lots of people in the faculty rumoured to be sleeping with their lecturers, i just never imagined that any of those filthy looking things will ever make advances at me...after refusals to comply with their demands in which i got threats for in return i decided to quit...Enough is enough. That was when i said to myself "NO MORE WANTING TO BE A LAWYER OR SAN". Abeg, I can’t take this no more. I refused to continue classes that year, I was just loafing around campus and attending all the club parties and just generally having a ball... It didn't take long for the news to reach my my dad.. He thought i had gone insane... He tried to convince me to go back and i just refused. I had had enough of that place, I hated the school from the begining anyways, It was like an extension of my high school, everyone I went to high school with was there,my juniors, my senior's, it felt like i didnt even leave High school.

Little me decided it was time to set things staright with my dad, I summoned up the courage to tell him one day after I had been told how much of a disappointment i was ,playing truant and blah blah.. I told my late Dad (RIP) that I couldn’t go on anymore. I WAS INDEED VERY SORRY..

So when I say I respect lawyers, its because i know the efforts they put into studying all those cases and reading all those reports and bulky hand outs etc.. The exams too..You have to write a full novel in an exam hall. Argue from now till kingdom come. Gosh, i found that very disturbing.. All in all, its a lot of hard work and there's just too many underpaid lawyers out there...Only few lucky ones get good renumeration...

I decided to focus on a diploma in Mass Communication and i found it more interesting, versatile and it kinda fit my personality too. And i later did a B.Comm in Marketing &Advertising...and absolutely loved it..

(MAYBE I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OF AS A LAWYER).

Who knows!!

Moving back Part 2

2008-04-11T03:56:00.000-07:00

Its not easy juggling work with blogging o!!

I cannot but wonder how other bloggers update and concentrate on work simultaneously. Maybe its cause my home Internet is bad sha, looking forward to getting it fixed, till then i shall be uploading from my office. Hope i never get caught in the act, otherwise they'll be recommending me for suspension.

Let me digress a bit from the title of my post....Work is okay and I'm settling in just fine, I don't have soo much to do now cause I've only just started and still finding my feet but i work very late hours. Why? cos i work directly with the big boss and he works crazy hours"Dude is a workaholic"...so i have to be in the office whether or not i have work to do, someone just has to be there and that person happens to be me. All these while, my good ol companion "FACEBOOK" kept me busy whilst waiting for OGA's brain to shut down so he can go home to his adorable wife, I would just sit at my desk typing away and anyone who came would be rest assured that i was working my butt off not knowing that i was facebooking, Eneways, long and short of the story is that facebook has been blocked in my office...why? because its preventing fellow employees from being productive.

Sh**t.

I was soo pissed when i found out...but what could i do? NOTHING!!! I hurriedly checked you tube...same thing, it had been blocked.Na wah o!!! I then checked blogville and alas, i could still get a dose of those blogs i was addicted to...Ope o!!

Somehow, i suppose if facebook wasn't blocked in my office i wouldn't have summoned up the courage to start my own blog. So in a way, i'm kinda grateful for the exit of facebook in and the beginning of my very own blog.

So my friend, Bully had called Ladi and given him my numbers and yes he did call me a week later. I was very happy that he didn't call me like immediately cos i would have been put off.

Our conversation went very well and he decided that we should meet up. Ladi lived in ikoyi and I in ikeja and didn't have a car so i was just saying to myself that " If this Ladi guy doesn't come to ikeja to look for me, i ain't ever seeing his ass at all o". Ever heard of those Idiots that go like, I don't do bridges? meaning i live on the island hence i dont leave the island. LOL...bULLOCKS.

Ladi calls on Sunday afternoon, he was very polite and asked if he could fetch me to go for a drink somewhere.I said it was okay but I didn't want to go all the way to the island so i decided to stay in ikeja...we settled for a place in GRA ikeja called La something, it was recommended by my younger sister. So the place turned out to be a bit untidy, the waitresses, the place wasn't just as i expected it to be...in order not to scare him away i decided to manage the place like dat. and not make a fuss about it since i chose the venue.

SO WE STARTED TALKING, I HAVE TO SAY THAT I DID MOST OF THE TALKING, because he didn't have much to say, so i went ahead and blabbed about Mzanzi and life as a student blah blah.. somewhere along i noticed that he neither drank nor smoked, never ever did and never will.I used to drink and smoke in the past like my entire existent depended on it.LOL. So i was a bad girl and he was a good boy...whatever joo... I still drink and smoke socially tho. We decided it was time to leave and headed straight for mine to be dropped off, we had a better conversation on the drive home.....he came across as sweet, polite, gentle...And that's exactly how i like my men...we decided to keep in touch and it was barely five weeks after our first meeting that something developed between us...so we started seeing regularly and became a regular caller, we would talk for hours on end...and he just became a part of my daily routine.

P.S

He DIDN'T ASK ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND O! IT WAS JUST ON OF THOSE SITUATIONS WHERE THINGS HAPPENED SO FAST BEFORE ACTUAL DEFINITION OF THE RELATIONSHIP. AND I KEPT HOPING HE'LL ASK...

Somehow we started hanging out, then came the kissing, shagging et all, he wasn't soo good, (he was rather conservative as opposed to adventurous) but i was determined to help him improve LOL...see me talking like I'm a pro.. so yes, i was working on improving him sexually and getting emotionally attached to him at the same time and yes he did improve. Things between us became very intense and we became inseparable..

I'm still not his girlfriend o...

After sometime, i thot to myself that what i need right now isn't a fuck buddy but a boify and I thought he was a potential one, i decided it was time to find out what we were all about and if we could ever be exclusive...

I decided the following weekend that I'd discuss the situation with him..My friend bully was getting married that Saturday and i played a vital role during the whole festivities...Ladi came to the wedding in company of one of his buddies but they couldn't stay long for some reason....so i saw them off and we said the goodbyes of course to see later....I forgot to mention that i was staying over at my friends house in ikoyi that weekend, her name is Amy.

Bully's wedding was great, we had soo much fun we danced like it was going out of fashion and just generally didn't want the day to end but it had to, so on our way to prepare the bride for her grande arrival in her husbands family house i received a text from my boss saying that it was my turn to entertain our American guest that had just arrived couple of days before and my colleague had been playing the perfect hostess.

Gosh! It was my turn to replicate my colleague's gesture and i was knackered, i was battling to stay awake. Boss lady wanted me to take our guest to Picolomondo and La Casa, even tho i love to go out and socialize i just had no plans of seeing the four walls of any nite club that evening but now, i had to take this lady to dinner and two nite clubs ...how worse can my evening get?? ehn? So we arrived at Bully's husbands house and they did the feet washing and prayers commenced, i was just hoping that it would end very soon so i could dash off to Ikoyi asap to meet up with my work peeps..

The ritual ended after another hour and i was free to go, On getting to Ikoyi, my friend was out but left the keys so i could get in, i changed hurriedly into a pair of jeans and a yellow camisole not caring if i looked good or not. I quickly hid the keys back where Amy had left it and placed a call to Ladi to pick me up and he arrived almost immediately. He dropped me off and i proceeded to start the forced outing. The evening dragged on and i couldn't wait for it to come to an end 1st stop was dinner at Reeds, then Picolomondo which she liked, from there we went to La Casa, she absolutely hated it (dont blame the lady) and i was soo glad dat she hated the place, that was my escape route right there and oh yes i made use of it. I rounded up at about 3am and bundled the lady to her hotel in a flash. I was so glad as i was walking into Amy compound, i was imagining the bed and how nice it'll be jumping into it..So i started knocking....and there was no response, i knocked harder and harder, still no response, i was falling asleep i was indeed very tired , i'd had an extremely long day and just needed to lay my head down...i managed to gather some strangth, picked a stone and aimed it at the window still no answer, then i started calling Amy, she didnt pick up, i kept calling and she still wasnt picking...i agve it sometime again, dialed her no and this time she had switched off her phone i was angered...i went and checked the spot where the key was hidden earlier on and it had been removed ...YEEEEEEEEEE !!!! What kind of wahala is this...by this time, mosquitoes had started feasting on my chocolaty skin and i was damn tired...i needed to think but my brain was asleep...Who did i call next? Ladi...after several calls, he callls me back and was scared shitless...

Ladi: hey are you okay? whats wrong?

tcl: sobbing...I'm in Dolphin, outside, i cant get in.

Ladi: why now? go inside

tcl: more sobbing....i cant get in, Amy isn't answering her phone, she's even switched it off and i cant find the keys. I'm tired, and mosquitoes are biting me...more sobbing

Ladi: What do you want me to do now?

tcl: i don't know, sob sob, i just wanna sleep, my eyes are tired.

Ladi:Na wah o....okay I'm coming to get you? should be there in 10 minutes.

Ladi made it to me in approximately nine minutes, the mosquitoes were having a filled day on me and i just couldn't deal with the thought of having tripple plus malaria the next morning or days after. I jumped into the car and and was longing for his bed. So we get to his house, he gives me a very good massage and i slept beautifully!!! That was some much needed pampering you'll agree with me.

I woke up in the morning still feeling tired but much better than the previous night..the following conversation ensues between us.

Ladi says: how are you? sleep well?

tcl: I'm okay thanks..thanks for picking me up

Ladi: no worries, There's something i need to talk to you about?

tcl: oh okay, what is it? please go ahead.

Ladi: Its about us...

tcl: okay I'm all ears.

Ladi: You're a wonderful person tiffanycaselady, I find you very attractive and really like you a whole lot, i know u know this very much..yeah???

tcl: thanks...hmmmmm.....sh**t this guy's beat me to it....

Ladi: i've been thinking about this thing we've got going on, i think we shld ease it a lil bit...we should concentrate more on the friendship...the sex is sort of overshadowing the friendship proper

tcl: ehennnn....really, i didn't think soo oh...okay ...sooo????

Ladi: I think we should concentrate more on building a stronger friendly realationship blah blah blah....

tcl: okay i hear you, i didn't think our friendship was lacking in anyway, its not like the only thing we do when we are together is have sex....abeg...tell me you're tired or you're scared of getting emotionally attached or scared of commitments and i'll understand....we talk for hours on end every day...okay i get it..no problem..no more sex..dats what you want abi...cool sturvvs!!

Ladi: this cannot and will not put any strain on our relationship, instead it'll make it work better.

tcl...yeah whatever!!!

Of course i was very upset...livid with anger in fact but i tried to contain it till i left his house...went back to my dodgy Amy friend who wasn't in support with the realationship with Ladi anyways( he disapproved of her friendship as well)...she only made me feel worse, cos all she said was you see, he just wanted to shagg you, he's done now and he wants out...i told her it wasn't soo, that he liked me and the feeling was mutual...i was reassuring myself...The phone calls from ladi neither reduced nor stopped, he called more regularly, he sent me a wake up text daily and followed up phone calls and we'll chat till he got to his office..in fact he'd call me at least 6times a day...we were able to do the no shagging thingie for only two weeks after which we resumed full time...LOL..I also have to remind you that the advances to resume the act was made by him and after refusing for some time i just gave in. And it felt much betetr, still no mention of me being his girlfriend...I'm really sorry to shock you guys but we were giving them skin to skin...and it was sweet......this went on for another 2 months until i decided that it was enough, he wasnt forthcoming on us dating and that was really what i wanted, unfortunately for me, i went about it the wrong way by giving up my cake lol...i shouldnt have... i guess i now know that its a golden rule. NEVER GIVE IT UP!! so we said our good bye's, we still talked regularly but i always avoided seeing him.

About 4weeks or so after we said our goodbyes, i fell ill.....i discovered on my way to work , i was just feeling very dizzy and wanted to puke...i had to beg the driver to stop at dolphin at Amy's house,,os i could sit in the toilet for a bit....this i did and i felt releived after a couple of minutes. I started heading to the office, by the time i got to the office, i was feeling much worse than i did earlier on....my boss panicked and ordered me to be sent to the hospital for a check up...tests were run and when results came out, it turned out that i had malaria ++ I received treatment and was fine in a three days ..i resumed work....4 days aftre my resumption, i started feeling sick again, this time it was headaches, it was unbearable...i dashed to the lab this time again. did the widal test, preganancy test and malaria parasite test....the lady told me to come back in an hour for the result but i refused and insisted on waiting .....after a much prolonged wait...1hr45mins, the result finally came

Widal: Negative

Malaria Parasite: Negative

PREGNANCY TEST; POSITIVE

yeee paaa

Damn.....I was soo pregnant...sh**t and it was for no one else but Ladi....Iwas scared..I flashed back to scenes in the various Yoruba home videos where the babe is trying to tell her boify that she is preggie and the guy says ta lo loyun? Who is the father? i soo hate those scenes.

How will i present my case.....Mo ti rogo o...I'm in trouble.Iwas very sad...I called Bully immediately and she said what!!!! are you kidding me...you don get belle? Omo na wah o....can you beleive it...she was having a fucking laugh at my expense...i would have sucker punched her if she was within my reach. Long and short... she said, just call him and tell him o....and i developed cold feet immediately, how was i going to say this.... i had no slightest clue.

I called him up the next day, and told him we needed to see urgently!! he said his add was in town and they were having a family meeting so i said i'll wait for him in his apartment....I arrived at his, made my self comfy and awaited his arrival...My plan was to hand him the pregnancy test which i had sealed in a nice white envelope...at least the test will do all the expalnation, i didnt really have to say a word...He came into his apartment 4hours after i had arrived, thank God, the so called meeting was finally over....my stomach was churning cos i knew his whole family was downstairs and was scared in case Ladi decided to unleash them on me...

I handed him the envelope and i watched him closely as he tore it open...he held his head and sunk into the sofa......he raised his head up again and gave me that" i'm in deep shit look". He then moves towards me and holds me tight, I pull away and he follows me and holds my hand and guides me back to the sofa. At this point i just want to shut my eyes and sleep. my head was tired and i was speechless..he won't stop trying to get some words out of me.

Ladi; I just want you to know that i'm here to give you all the support that you need...

tcl: sigh***before nko...you dont have a choice

Ladi: But i am not planning for a baby just yet.

tcl: Oh really!! you didnt know this before you were shooting without protection eh... I do not plan to have a baby just yet too...soo i'm taking it out...

Ladi: begging....Please do not tell anyone about this , not even Bully

tcl: Are you kidding me? Course i told her already....she knows about it, she heard before you...

Ladi: Sh**t...okay , please let no one else hear of this....

Tcl: Oh am i supposed to go on AIT to make an announcement? idiot!!

Ladi:So do you know any doctor that can help

Tcl; Nope...i dunno.

Ladi: Okay, i'll ask around for some refferal

Tcl: It better be a good Gynae and Hospital.

On this note we both went to bed...Woke up the next morning, he made couple of phonecalls, then went to his brother's flat downstairs and came back with a solution...so i asked him if he mentioned anything to his brother cos i know that they're very close...he hesitated at first and later said yes...i was upset but at the same time i just wanted a solution as soon as possible!! So we took off to some hospital in VI, he said i should go in and he'll remain in the car and wait for me..He told me to tell the Doctor that i came alone if he asked me where my supposed boify was.

Apparently, the Doctor is a gynaecologist in a reputable hospital and doesnt do abortions unless its totally necessary...So i went in, saw alot of familiar faces and was just praying that they never got wind of what i came to do at the hospital otherwise i'll be a dead goat. So i went ahead and did the vitals...waited for a bit and then finally went in to see the Gynae after waiting for about 50 minutes... he ordered me to take another preggie test.Whilst we were awaiting the result, he gave me the lecture of my life, i felt belittled and reduced, i have never been so ashamed in all my life. I guess luck was on my side cos he told me that he doesnt do extraction (D&C), that is if i am above 7-8 weeks he will not be able to help me.. Fortunately for me, i was just about 51/2 weeks so i was indeed very lucky...All i had to do was swallow a couple of pills..So he handed over the medication to me and gave instructions on dosage and all of these vame with a very huge price tag....about 86K.... Meanwhile Ladi only gave me 50K and i wasn't about to start dragging with him to refund so i just told him its going to cost 86k and i will come up with the difference......I will rather not disclose what happened after swallowing the pill but i was glad that my visit to the hospital wa sucessful....

So there was a lot of tension between Ladi and i, i refused to speak to him after the hospital cause i was traumatized, i bled alot and thought i was going to die....And i promised my self that it will be the last time i'd ever have unprotected sex or an abortion...

I was in shock for about 5 weeks, i started hallucinating, i had very scary dreams, and i would mumble words lke where is my baby...It was a horrid experience , i dont pray for my enemy to go thru what i went thru it was like going to hell and back....there i was thinking it was going to be an easy excersice yet it almost drove me mad...

To now add salt upon injury....3 months later i had an engagement on the island and had to ask Ladi if i could pass the night at his which he said was okay.. CAN U IMAGINE THAT LADI TRIED TO TOUCH ME????I almost passed out, i thought he had gone raving mad, he felt no remorse whatsoever from the past incident and i just came to the conclusion that i needed to run far far away from him....It turned out that he really never had any good intentions for me from the start and its sooo sad it took me almost seven months to realise that.....

What a shame!!!

WOW!!!this is definately a long ass post...hope you dont get bored whilst you're at it..

Hope ya'll have a Lovely weekend.

Cheers!!!!

Moving Back Part 1

2008-04-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

I decided to move back home last April, after living and studying in MZANZI for three and a half years. I graduated in June 2006 and kept hoping and praying that i would find a job. I went for countless interviews, hoping that very soon my phone will ring and I'll be asked to come in for a follow up interview.

This went on this for 6 more months and i kept believing something will come up but it never happened. On this fateful day, i woke up and decided to call my mum who had been stressing about the need to come back home to serve (NYSC). You can imagine how excited she was when i informed her of my decision to move back home in 2weeks. The following conversation ensued between my mum and i

mum: tiffanycaselady, how are you? Salafia nii (i hope you are well)

tiffanycaselady: I'm fine thank you ma

mum; are you sure? you don't sound too good

tcl: Mum, I'm tired, I'm frustrated right now

mum: why?

tcl: this job thingie is really getting to me,i cant take it any longer. I'm moving back home in two weeks as a matter of fact I've just booked and paid for my ticket.

mum: Adupe o (thank God) Finally you are beginning to see reason with me, there are opportunities here too. Don't worry, you'll be fine.

tcl: hmmmmmmm, i better be o. Okay mum, i just wanted to let you so y'all can await my arrival in 2 Weeks. hows everyone ?

mum: they're fine. take care of you and TTYL

tcl: bye mum.

So that's how i started packing my stuff, looked up a few numbers for freighting companies in the yellow pages and the phone calls followed. I was very sad when i finally made a deal as it had just dawned on me that in a weeks time, they'll be at mine to cart off all my belongings.

I arrived in the good ol Muritala Mohammed Airport, the heat that greeted me as i steep out of the airport was unbearable. Some things don't ever change. Everyone was there to receive me, Mum and my siblings, it felt good to be back at home with my family, i missed them so much even though i was i visited Nigeria at least thrice a year.

I was settled in less than a week, i started making phone calls contacting people that i knew very well, barely knew and mere acquaintances , all in the bid of finding a job asap. I mean, i had wasted 7 months of the past year in finding a job so you can only imagine how staying 2 more weeks at home in Naija can just kill me off. Somewhere in between finding a job and settling into the scheme of things, an old friend of mine came visiting, we hadn't seen each other in a 3years but had spoken about four times which according to her standards wasnt good enough. So we decided to meet up, she had good news, she was getting married. I was excited for her. The next i heard was how far with you now? i was like ehn? she said how's the boify to which i replied no boify o. She was like na wah o, you mean you didnt catch any fine bloke whilst you were in MZANZI, i was like God forbid, those violent men. Long and short of the story was that she had a someone in mind she wanted me to meet to which my response was okay. For the sake of this post lets call my friend Bully and the dude she introduced me to as Ladi.

By the first week in may, i got a job, it wasn't anything serious but i was very grateful to God cos i could leave the house in the morning and go back home in the evening.

Wow! What a relief that was for me. That's how i became Lagos working class chick.

I'll fill you in my next post on my meeting with Ladi and all that folowed thereafter.

I hope my writing isnt as bad as i think it is.

Cheers!!!

So i'm finally here

2008-04-03T03:42:00.000-07:00

I have been fighting and struggling with myself about the need to start a diary for bout 9 months now. I just need a place to put down my thoughts and day to day experiences anonymously. I'm tired of seeking advice from friends who act like they care and just kiss their teth at you teh moment you turn your back.

All in all, i'm hoping i havent made a mistake coming to blogville.